*SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW*

- So watch the full episode here before reading what's below -

The Guild

3.01 Expansion Time

Running Time: 5 minutes 29 seconds

Starring: Felicia Day, Sandeep Parikh, Jeff Lewis, Robin Thorsen, Vincent Caso, Amy Okuda (credit only)

Guest Starring: Wil Wheaton, Michele Boyd

Also Starring: J Teddy Garces, Mike Rose, Teal Sherer, Alexander Yi

Character Class: Above Average

Grade: B+

One word: recap.

Four words: Recap, good start, entertaining.

First off, I now realize one thing FANTASTIC about web serials (besides the fact that I can watch them at any time I want) is that while I can place spoiler alerts at the start of my post like I do for other reviews of mainstream TV episodes, for web episodes I can ALSO actually post the link to the video itself, thus, really eliminating the need for spoiler alerts since it'll be your own fault if you don't heed my advice and watch before you read what I write.

Let's get right down to this episode.

Oh, red hair, how I have missed you so.

While we're on the topic of ice cream, while butter pecan generally is good for all occasions, I personally would recommend double chocolate chip or anything extra cocoa-y for sad times like heartbreak, work-related depression or failure for midterms. I don't know why, and I don't know how, but chocolate really does soothe shattered vena cava.

Now here we have an example of believable acting for love scenes. Watching Michele Boyd and Sandeep Parikh wrestle is awkward enough in itself, mainly because the two really seem incompatible as far as chemistry goes, but the gusto and enthusiasm the two have make the scene watchable, and above all, believable. Not to mention they get the best, funniest lines in the whole episode.

Bladezz appears, being all, well, Bladezz-like. Nothing extraordinary to note here except for the CheesyBeards T-shirt. I just wanted to say that it's not very difficult to obtain a Cheesy Beard, contrary to popular belief, at least not if you eat my dad's secret-recipe mac-and-cheese.

All the time he was talking, I was staring at the Halo 3 box in the window of GameStop. I'll bet "stupid tall hot girl" would approve.

Clara didn't get exceptionally-funny lines. They were the typical Clara lines, dumb-blonde-mother-makes-a-bad-parenting-decision. But still funny.

Kim Evey alert! Wow, the makeup department did a good job, didn't they?

Look in the background. Can anyone say, squab?

Vork was on form, but I really didn't get the point of his scene. The entire part with Codex entering Vork's tent, talking to him, did nothing to entertain or advance the plot besides establishing, for all those who don't play WoW, the fact that trolls chase after unsuspecting Priests (me) if you go too near them.

Bad acting!!! Robin Thorsen has a B.A. in Theatre Arts, or so I read somewhere. But GIRRRRLL! What WAS that? "Ohhh yeah... what a jerk!" was very poorly-delivered, with a forced-growl and mock anger that made me cringe.

Fart jokes! Those are always welcome, anywhere anytime (well, most of the time), so Felicia Day got it right with this one. They really do help ease tension and break the ice (trust me, I've tried it).

BAM! The highlight of the ep! Wil Wheaton leads his guild to the forefront (or front of the line), with attitudes a-fired and baddie metal music a-playin'. I was looking forward to a little tete-a-tete between Codex and yet-unspecified-Axis-of-Anarchy-guild-leader, but alas, I was disappointed. Guess it's being pushed to the next ep. Felicia Day blogged that it's going to be a "LONG one", so I predict a little one-on-one geek showdown between Day and Wheaton!

So, place your bets, right here! Who's it gonna be?

As Wade once said, "Sorry, red". I'm placing my money on Wil. That six-o-clock shadow looks like it could do some REAL damage.

We'll find out next week, September 8th 2009! Keep those routers plugged in!

You Too Good:

Zaboo: "Your tongue is like a randy gymnast!"

A Bad Egg:

Clara's "What a jerk!" line by a mile. I can't even retype it, it made me cringe so much.

Till next time, fellow guildies!

(P.S. Don't mock the Priest. You haven't seen me cast a Shadow Word: Pain yet.)

All screenshots taken from the released episode of The Guild on MSN Streaming Live.

The Guild official site